Q: I’ve been married for 25 years. Most of that time my husband and i focused on raising our children. Our conversations revolved around them. Now that the children have moved out, my husband and I feel like strangers to each other. We often fight and argue over almost everything. How can you help me?
A: If you put the children before your marriage, you are looking for issues. For men more so than women, they want to know they are #1 in your life. If they feel anything less, you will have a cold, distant and argumentative man.
For many couples once they have children, their identity changes from lovers to mum and dad. They tend to forget they were lovers before and to return to that. If you don’t have a love affair with your partner, then somebody else will.
The main reasons couples argue is because they don’t feel as if they matter. We all want to matter and the thinking is, I’d rather matter to you in a positive way, yet rather than not matter at all; I’m going to matter in a negative way, so hence arguments happen or they have an affair, etc.
There are a whole lot of things you both can and need to do which I cover in my workshops, to get you happily connected and in love with each other again.